‹ the sandbag

// fake daily sync & instant performance review

The Standup

Answer three standup questions, or don't — mash the dice instead. Either way, press submit and watch your own words get run through a system that turns "fixed a bug" into a paragraph about synergy and accountability. This is not a real performance review. No one is being evaluated. That said, don't get comfortable.

Daily standup

Tab through the fields, or press Ctrl/Cmd+Enter from inside any field to submit.

What is this, exactly
  • Type answers to the three standup questions, or press a die to auto-fill an absurd one. Press Submit standup.
  • A small generator, running entirely in this browser, quotes your own words back at you inside a fake, inflated performance review — one section per prompt, plus a randomly assigned rating that means nothing and was not earned.
  • Nothing you type is sent anywhere. There is no manager, no HR system, and no actual review process on the other end of this button — just this page.
  • Past standups and their reviews stay in this browser, up to 25, under one storage key, so they survive a reload. Clear them any time with the button at the bottom.

This is a corporate-satire generator, not a real HR tool: nobody reads this, nothing is scored, and no manager is involved, mostly because there isn't one. Every standup and the review generated from it are built and stored entirely in this browser under one key, sandbag.standup.v1, capped at the most recent 25. Clear it below and it's gone for good.